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Elizabeth Edwards on Splitting From John and Relating to Sandra Bullock

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Elizabeth Edwards -- declaring, "I'm not just a cuckolded wife" -- says she can easily relate to actress Sandra Bullock, star of "The Blind Side," whose divorce from philandering husband Jesse James became final this week.

"I think about Sandra Bullock -- who I don't know at all -- what an incredible year she's had," Edwards tells NBC Today show host Matt Lauer in an interview that aired Wednesday. "She won the Academy Award for an incredible performance, and more than that, she took that story and integrated that into her own life in this healthy, happy way," by secretly adopting son Louis in January. "And yet, the stories you hear are not about all those great successes, but about the failure of her marriage."

Says Edwards: "That's not who she is... I assume she wants to reclaim who she is in the same way I want to reclaim who I am."

In the pre-taped conversation, she spoke for the first time about the breakup of what once was considered a devoted, loving family. It was part of a media blitz to promote the paperback version of her 2009 memoir, "Resilience," with a new epilogue that came out Tuesday. Click play below to watch video of the conversation:


Edwards writes that she has one simple, powerful wish: to survive the incurable breast cancer that now has spread to her spine, skull and legs, for at least eight years to see her youngest child finish high school.

Mothering her own three children -- Jack, 10; Emma Claire, 12 and Cate, 28 -- at least until 2018 would allow Edwards, 60, "to finish the one job I know I did better than any other," she writes in the epilogue.

The book's final "next chapter" explains her decision to split from her law school sweetheart and former North Carolina Democratic senator. She is divorcing John Edwards, two time White House contender and her husband of nearly 33 years, over his long affair with Rielle Hunter, who bore him a daughter, now two years old.

Elizabeth Edwards"Is it too much to want your obituary, when written, to be about your own life, not the lives of the worst people who came into your life? About the lies they told for their own purposes?" she writes. Edwards says she tried stay married after her husband told her he'd had a "one night stand" with Hunter, his presidential campaign videographer. After all, the couple had been tested by the death of their oldest child, Wade, in a 1998 auto crash and her ongoing battles with cancer.

After the truth of the long-term affair and Hunter's baby came out, she called it quits.

"I simply wanted to be away from all of the things I had tried to accept," writes Edwards. "I wanted to take a long shower and be away from the lies my husband had told me and the woman he told them about, and the awful couple who had helped him live the lies and even the now-dead friend of his who had at some level made at least the last of it possible."

Edwards never names Hunter in the epilogue. Nor does she name Edwards' longtime aide Andrew Young and his wife, Cheri, who harbored Hunter in their home for a time, or wealthy Texan Fred Baron, who financed Hunter's move from North Carolina to avoid the press, before he died.

"I had been trying to reinvent the role of wife for the last two years -- trying to find a place where I could be happy and still be John's wife, despite his infidelity...and at the very end of 2009, I finally stopped trying."

When she began writing the epilogue, she thought she could settle into "a happy home with an adoring husband, a hard-won peace between us, where we could raise and nourish our youngest children, finally a moment away from a prying public. It was none of these."

She called the decision to split "sad and terrifying."

But it has not been so sad and terrifying as to keep her from promoting the book with a vengeance.

In the interview with Lauer, Edwards concedes that she watched "some of" Rielle Hunter's sit-down interview on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" after it aired, and came away with this impression: "I still think this person is so completely unlike me that it's hard to imagine the same person could marry me and be attracted to that -- to that woman, as well."

On Wednesday night, Elizabeth Edwards appears on CNN's "Larry King Live."

And this week's "People" magazine, not yet on newsstands, contains a lengthy interview with the wronged wife, as well as an essay by Cate -- a lawyer living in Washington and clerking for a federal judge -- about her mother.

"There are the things she taught without words," including "how to continue to live your life on your own terms when it somehow becomes savaged by people you never invited into it."

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MARK

When Edwards first came into light as a candidate for president I thought he was a little too young for the job but then when I learned his age it was hard to believe. When I finally saw Elizabeth I could'nt help but think she was too old for him and on the heavy side to go with it. I'm quite a bit older than edwards and i could'nt picture myself married to her but I also believe in to each his or her own and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Thier break up did not surprise me and the fact thier marriage of 33 years just might be extraordinary. Regardless of Edward's behavior he has kept his one vow, "until death do we part". I don't know how the rest of you feel but I find it rare for any man to wed a woman 4 years his senior and in this case Elizabeth appeared to be old enough to be John's mother but Rielle appears to be the age his wife should be. John is now free to move on and since he has fathered a child with Rielle, it just makes sense they will marry. Keep in mind that he is still appears young for his age and there are probably millions of women that would jump at a chance to land him together with the wealth he has aquired. I hope nothing but the best for John and his children. What is done is done and life goes on.

January 07 2011 at 4:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Delaila

i accept that "one simply cannot order one's heart" ..
what is, is..

as for the rest, what we do with this reality (and "how" we do it)
of course .. still belongs to us.

i admire Elizabeth Edwards' strength; and can't wait to
read her books..

Also .. i "believe in" what we call "miracles" ..
(as simply events we don't yet understand) ..

i believe: "anything is possible; and nothing is too good
to be true" ..

Delaila

July 07 2010 at 1:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Barbara

Oh PLEASE!! She knew full well what he had done while campaigning for president and albeit I am sorry she has cancer, can't she just get on with her life and stop going on about the slimey actions of her husband? Having lived in Raleigh, NC for over 13 yrs, everyone knew that as a couple, they (John and Elizabeth) were so self-absorbed in themselves they were not well liked or respected in various social circles. When he was elected to the US Senate by others outside of the Triangle, she hopped on the wagon almost faster than he did building his resume and travelling to raise money for the DNC to support his true motive for becoming Senator.....so he could run for Prez!
She needs to leave the public life (including television appearance, taped or not), return to the largest house in NC where she lives outside of Chapel Hill and enjoy the rest of her life with her children! Enough of hearing her song of woe and what she thinks of her ex and his mistress! At least she doesn't have to worry about how to feed her children or get the medical treatment she needs like so many single mothers who are divorced. She should kiss the ground every day and thank the good Lord for the life she has and realize no one cares about her tale of woe! Why doesn't she try and do some good with time she has left like creating a foundation for those single mothers with cancer who can't afford the treatments, etc? WIth her money and supposed connections along with the magnificent medical facilities in NC (Duke Hospital, UNC Med Center) she could really be productive in promoting such a cause instead of tending to the 'antique/furniture' store she opened a few years ago in Chapel Hill.
Do something POSITIVE and PRODUCTIVE with the time you have left!

July 02 2010 at 4:24 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
hldesign

I applaud you for your new approach. It is just plain refreshing so thanks.

H L Collins

July 01 2010 at 7:22 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
ettu

She must be commended for her pragmatism and, yes, her resilience. I know I have read some jabs taken at her, but every one of us have done something, or exhibit some idiosyncracy, that will provide ammo for the shooters. She has had some heavy burdens placed on her. Her perserverance, and ability to maintain an upbeat outlook for the future, is admirable. I am not certain I would be that strong.

July 01 2010 at 12:32 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
Kat2988

She's a nice lady, but honestly she needs to quit talking about the cheater and move on, rielle is about classless and she needs to be a mom and just let this go, get over it and live out the rest of her life and I hope that is many years!

July 01 2010 at 12:00 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
Sarah

No matter what people say here, Elizabeth Edwards is a woman of courage and grace. She is also a great role model for young women showing them how important it is to be true to yourself.

July 01 2010 at 9:23 AM Report abuse +5 rate up rate down Reply
bullockmed

Elizabeth I wish only the best for you. May you surround yourself with your children and love in order to see you through this difficult time. I am sorry the in sickness and in health clause was not upheld in your case, especially the part about love and faithfulness even in sickness. It takes a fair greater friend, mate, and lover to forego a short amount of personal happiness in attempting to live up to a promise made over 33 years ago. My heart goes out to you.

June 30 2010 at 10:08 PM Report abuse +5 rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to bullockmed's comment
SUE

Very nice and compassionate what you have mentioned bullockmed..its so sad but its so true..what has the world come too and why are all of this not being able to avoid temptation gping on more and more as it is with so many stars and politicans..My heart goes out to all of these women as I don't feel many of them did anything to make their husbands go to someone else to cheat on..There are some in this world that make it happen but not the ones that have been mentioned since two or three years ago up until now..Blessings to you loving women who have had to suffer this tragedy from those men..and my prayers go out to everyone who will make their future lifes a better one for them and their children..

July 06 2010 at 6:42 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
Lisa

I wish this classy lady only the best. I hope she does get her wish to live long enough to see her children out of school and beyond that. I also wish her peace in her life. She so deserves that. Good luck and best wishes to you Elizabeth. God Bless you.

June 30 2010 at 9:21 PM Report abuse +4 rate up rate down Reply
Pam

I feel very sorry for Elizabeth. However, now I am feeling sorry for the American people who continue to live through this STUFF and have to listen and read about it. From the beginning when John Edwards reached the national stage, he came across as an opportunist. Unfortunately Elizabeth shares that same label because of her constant need to be in the media. Enough! Let us move on and let her - if she can - live in privacy. I find keeping this story in the public, odd, very odd.

June 30 2010 at 6:31 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply

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