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Beer Ice Cream and Fresh Flowers: A Summer Week, Well Spent

1 year ago

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Summer or not, the news doesn't stop. BP has finally capped its deepwater oil well; Congress passed financial reform but stalled education reform; and the Afghan war grinds on. But, just because the news doesn't' stop doesn't mean we can't enjoy the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer that Nat King Cole sang about.
That's why, when I found myself home without my family for a whole week, I decided to indulge myself in a week in which the only stress that came into my life was stress that I created.

What are the ingredients of this stress-free week? I figured that it had to have three things: Friends, exercise, and purpose.

Happy people are generally healthier people. We know this from Malcolm Gladwell, author of "Outliers," who found a community of Italian immigrants in Roseto, Pa., who were amazingly healthy, even though they ate, drank, and smoked more than immigrants in nearby communities. How could this be? Well, people in Roseto spend a lot of time talking with one another while eating, drinking, and smoking. Seems that friends can counteract all those bad things that fill up our lives.

So, the first thing I did was set up time to be with friends.

One of those friends was the boss. Many of you might not think of having dinner with the boss as relaxing. But, my boss is fun to be around. There is a trick to dining with the boss, however. You can't talk about work or try to get some inside scoop about who's up and who's down. Nope, you just talk about the fun times you've shared. It also helps to add a bit of whimsy to the meal, say, by serving beer ice cream. It must have worked, since the boss then told the world via Facebook about this Belgian delicacy.

The second thing I did was set aside time for exercise. First Lady Michelle Obama launched her "Let's Move" initiative to encourage children to spend more time on the playground and less time on Play Station. But the problem for us adults is that we have less time to exercise than we did when we were younger, and we are less interested in it.

At least that's true for me. Back in the day (meaning in high school), I spent hours a week on my four team sports – cross-country, skiing, tennis, and track. I would think nothing of grabbing my transistor radio – this was years before the Walkman had been invented --- and heading for the hills. Now, some days the most exercise I get is walking from my desk to the coffee pot and back.

But, the first lady has a point. Setting a specific time to exercise and a specific activity is easier to achieve than just saying we need to exercise more. So, here's what I planned: three different exercises on three different days. Pilates on Sunday, running on Monday, and biking on Thursday. And, it worked.

Finally, my week had to have a purpose: As a teacher and writer, I have a lot of flexibility over my work schedule. But, I knew that I couldn't really relax if all I did was indulge myself. So, on Sunday afternoon I polished up a piece about Sarah Palin's speech at a California university, and on Monday I attended conferences at the Brookings Institution and the American Enterprise Institute. That gave me plenty of food for thought to last a week.

What's the secret to a stress-free week? Getting rid of guilt.

If you're a working mom, whether it's the stay-at-home kind or the in office kind, you undoubtedly struggle to stay in balance. Often, you're faced with the kind of choice that a good friend of mine just did when she received a call from the ER asking whether a parent would be able to come. My friend, who was about to conduct a major meeting with the boss, queried, "So, I have a choice?"

Experts say that most working mothers are guilty --- a Working Mother magazine survey found that 57 percent of responders feel guilty every day and another 31 percent feel guilty at least once a week. Wow. That's a lot of time spent feeling bad about something you did, or maybe even didn't do.

Experts know how to reduce that guilt. Here's what principal and executive coach Carolyn Butcher told me: "For working mothers, I also think it is essential that they have a 'self-care' practice. What does that mean? It can be as simple as waking up a half hour earlier than the rest of the household for quiet, reflection time, starting the day with a ritualistic cup of tea or coffee or inviting some movement in like a walk around the block or quick run on the treadmill."

Hmmm, I could manage that. I'll take a walk around the block while I drink my coffee. And, if I pick up a friend along the way, bingo.

My family-free week is now part of history. And, what remains of it? I'm still having dinner with friends, trying to exercise (I just spent $39 for two months of Jazzercise from Groupon's nifty daily deals), and still writing.

Is it working? Yes. Stopping to smell the flowers, both mentally and figuratively, is a great way to reduce stress. Who knows why, but inhaling the fragrance from a bouquet of fresh flowers creates just the right "je ne sais quoi" to start the day off right.

Filed Under: Obama Administration, Woman Up, Michelle Obama

Tagged: stress, summer

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