Obama's 49th: As a Lonely Guy Birthday, This One Takes the Cake

Aug. 4 is President Obama's 49th birthday, but his wife is on a lavish vacay in Marbella, Spain, with their youngest daughter. And his eldest daughter is away at camp. At least Joe Biden will take him out to lunch -- right? Wrong. The prez is scheduled to have lunch "with senators" and follow that up with a one-on-one dessert-slash-sparring session with . . . Sen. Mitch McConnell, one of his strongest and most vocal opponents in Congress. What kind of birthday is this? Last year, it was singing and cupcakes with Helen Thomas -- and now even she isn't around to celebrate with. Sigh. At least the Democratic National Committee still cares.

The DNC several weeks ago launched a "Send Barack a Birthday Card" promotion. Virtual Michelle encouraged would-be virtual celebrants to sign a card for the president, to "let him know you're ready to take on the year ahead alongside him." While the hope (or, OK, my hope) was that Obama would at some point be presented with an actual card filled with the thousands of signatures of fellow foot soldiers -- please take a second to envision how big that card would be -- the reality of the 21st century is that this card floats in cyberspace, a collection of valuable data to be used strategically for e-mail missives and get-out-the vote drives this fall. Less Hallmark, more Html.

The RNC, for its part, understands the concept of card-giving: It's not for hoarding user data but for spreading jokes and giggles. Too bad they happen to be at Obama's expense. On a special site dedicated to "Barack's Birthday Cards" the RNC allows senders to e-mail cards featuring 18 prominent beleaguered Dems, each with a special message for the president -- tailored for maximum party humiliation. Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich says, "In honor of your birthday, I decided not to testify!" (exclamation points mine). Florida Senate candidate Charlie Crist: "Just for you, I will become a Democrat until it is no longer politically convenient. Now give me a hug." The Charlie Rangel card might be the best one, though: "For your birthday, I will go quietly." It's probably one gift that the prez would appreciate this year.

So it's been a bum birthday so far -- and you can tell the poor prez has been jones-ing for some b'day jams. On Wednesday morning, during a speech at the AFL-CIO's executive meeting, Obama began his remarks with a hint: "There's no one I would rather spend my birthday with," he said, presumably (this reporter only had access to the audio) shifting his gaze downward to see if there were any presents under the podium. None were there -- not even one.

The speech came to a close and Obama ended his remarks glumly noting, "I'm a little disappointed there wasn't a cake, though." AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka referred the president to the Secret Service, saying, "They nixed the cake." To which Obama responded, hopelessly, "They're probably eating it right now!" Were they? It wasn't hard to envision a van full of brawny guys with earpieces, brushing away devil's food crumbs from their black suits while our cakeless president discussed how not-that-bad the U.S. economy is doing to an audience full of labor leaders. Might the ole 4-9 feel like an unkind number for our 44th president? Ah, but there's still time. Obama flies to Chicago tonight, where the hometown crowd is sure to serenade him with at least one rendition of "Happy Birthday, Mr. President."

And hey, who knows -- maybe McConnell will bring him a cake. Let's just hope there isn't a knife in it.