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I've Been Married and I've Been Single. Married Is Better

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My colleague Suzi Parker "never wanted to be married," and through her long career as a reporter has been happily single. But until recently she says she "didn't know I was a trendsetter." It turns out Suzi (who reports on Lady Gaga's political movement for Politics Daily) is even trendier than we all suspected.The convention of marriage seems to be joining the many other seemingly immortal institutions of the last century suddenly suffering from attrition and decay. Individual unions may still be forever, but there are far fewer of them. Despite the addition of gay couples to the count, the entire social custom has lost a good portion of its market share.

According to a census report released this week, marriage is at a historic low in the U.S. The report conjectures that the economic recession has derailed commitment rituals for a good many of this generation of young people.
Ironically, due to family and business obligations, the marriage to which I am personally committed has, to my relief, just reestablished itself into a two-adult household (not counting the "emerging adult" who occasionally emerges from our basement). The 25-year partnership my husband and I refer to as the Jim & Bonnie Show had a month-long (trying) separation when I left home for 3 weeks to help our daughter with her newborn, followed by his business trip to France a day after I returned. I normally wear big girl panties but I admit I missed him. I could not get caught up. By the 4th day he was gone, I noticed I was still wearing my pajama bottoms at 7p.m.

Through some mix of habit and co-dependency, our shared responsibilities (both economic and emotional) of home and family apparently require both of us to run smoothly. We were each adults with our own households when we merged our lives back in 1985 and except for a six-month bicoastal split for his work in 1989 we've been pretty much fused at the heart ever since.
I understand that marriage is not for everyone, but at this rate it will soon be barely for anyone. Less than half of 25-34 year olds today are married and overall, there are almost as many single people over 18 in the U.S. as there are wedded ones.
Clearly, as a society we don't need an ancient ritual to form alliances with partners who bring out the best in us, but, personally, I'm sorry to see marriage fall out of favor. I was happy enough being single until well into my 30s but my life got much more productive and healthy when I married (notwithstanding that my husband is a madman). In addition to the obvious advantages of having two incomes, educations and pairs of hands available for raising children, it makes economic sense that two people working together for one goal have a better chance for success that one determined singleton working her butt off.
Filed Under: Woman Up, Culture
Tagged: census, marriage

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tmr224

It's not that people don't want to get married, it's that it has become extremely difficult to find someone to share your life with. Especially, if you live in a major metropolitan city where both men and women are focused more on their jobs and position rather than spending their life with someone.

September 30 2010 at 3:01 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
jwsexton9

Of course its a gal thing to be married however i find only men that have a need for a mommie have to be married,,,I was raised to take care of my self and though i have been in two failed marriages and a half a dozen children I fifnd no need to do it again, Men loose big time in marriage,,,half there income alsways having to play the emotion game and listining to everyday gripes, I am free to go and od what i want and have total quiet in my space,,I can cook,clean and sew as well as any women,,,,And as for sex,,its cheaper in the long run to pay for it and much more exciting as years go by,,,,,lol

September 30 2010 at 6:14 AM Report abuse -1 rate up rate down Reply
TNSANFRANCISCO

The current reality of divorce rate of 50% shocked and saddened so many if not the whole world. Life really is about and for relationships, yes and/or no ? The multiple causes and effects of this vast phenomenon should be declared top national priority subjects to be studied, probed, tested, sampled, double-checked in many ways, clinically, culturally and all. The answers could be mind-blowing or just blowing in the wind ;)

September 30 2010 at 1:32 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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