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Suspects in Clementi Suicide Should Be Treated as Adults

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While reading the Washington Post online Wednesday night, I saw that one of the most read pieces was titled "college student secretly filmed having sex" (the headline did not mention the suicide). I rarely click on these stories, but since I was on the Post's site, I figured that the article had to have some substance. The report said an 18-year-old Rutgers freshman, Tyler Clementi, had committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge apparently after learning that a video of him engaged in a sexual encounter had been posted on the web. His roommate and another 18-year-old Rutgers student are charged in the case with invasion of privacy.

My colleague, Mia Navarro, wrote a provocative piece on "The Rutgers Suicide" that included comments by a teacher that appear to excuse the suspects' behavior because we adults have "infantilized" young people.

"My students, today, spend half the day texting their parents and the other half immersed in a world inhabited only by their peers." the teacher commented on the New York Times website. "The stage of life we once called adolescence no longer exists. People in their "teens" used to act out and rebel and learn from their mistakes, but now their parents -- with the help of technology -- infantilize them until their late 20s,"
I strongly disagree with the teacher's comments. At a time when our country sentences minors to decades in prison, condemns the mentally ill to death, expels kids who sneak a puff in the school bathroom, and routinely punishes kids for the idiotic things they do with their cell phones (just consider the sexting of naked 8th grade girls going on in middle school), there is nothing that indicates these two suspects should be treated as anything less than adults.
My experience may not generalize to others, but I have three kids, one whom is an 18-year-old college freshman who I treat as an adult. I can affirm that all three have had hundreds of encounters with adults who challenge them in how they think and act. They all 'act out and rebel' and only time will tell if they learn from their mistakes. And, all three send more texts in a day than I do in a month or more and they pick up the phone to call only when they need something (usually money or a ride somewhere). But, that doesn't mean that technology somehow shields them from the real world.

Yes, my 18-year-old, who would like to make a living as a filmmaker, may put lots of dumb things on his Facebook page (as do his friends, many of whom have learned a hard lesson when the Facebook message went awry). He also has made some pretty silly as well as some pretty professional videos, but he would never violate the privacy of his friends.
The story, unfortunately, does not end with Clementi's suicide. As the Daily Beast reported, Clementi's death came just three days after a 13-year-old California boy --- who had been bullied for being gay --- died after falling into a coma when he tried to commit suicide. Earlier this year, many of us were horrified when a 15-year-old Massachusetts girl, Phoebe Prince, committed suicide after she was apparently cyber-bullied.
But, we should not let the bullies whose acts are apparently behind these tragic suicides color our views of teens. There are many young adults who learn from an early age how to distinguish right from wrong. And, many of these kids try to use their experience to teach their peers how to avoid the mistakes that they have made.
Consider what Alexandra Fognani, a seventh-grader at Alice Deal Middle School in Washington and a student Ambassador with One World Education, has to say about how she transformed from being a bully into a staunch defender of the classmate she once bullied.
I'm not going to lie to you; I once bullied a classmate named Ann. She was 12 years old. We were in the same class at our elementary school and I did it because everyone was doing it. I was shy and didn't know how to stand up for what was right. Ann was consistently laughed at, mistreated, and insulted. Somehow, she would stand strong and ignore what we all said to her. Even at a young age I knew she had a hard life. Other kids knew this too, but this never stopped our bullying of her at school and in the schoolyard. But she would still try her best while dealing with our bullying. I later learned that she was also abused by her mother. Even Ann's life outside of school was tough. "
For those who think that a college freshman is not old enough to be treated as an adult, it may be time to praise the actions of students like Alexandra Fognani, who learned how wrong it is to bully another student.
Filed Under: Woman Up, Culture, Gay Rights

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36 Comments

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rnflowr

Agreed that these people need to be treated like adults and punished for what was clearly trespass. I think the root of all of these issues, though, is the government-mandated and funded school system, though. When you force individuals to interact with each other on a daily basis, you're going to get unpleasant things like bullying and these awful pranks. Having more options to educate ourselves outside of 'schooling' would be a huge step forward. I think the "School Sucks Podcast" does a great job of pointing out how these problems arise in our school systems...

October 01 2010 at 1:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bonbon

These scum should be punished to the full extent of the law, I am so tired of these kind of people, real funny setting up your secret camera, they are cowards, this kid had a right to his private life...........they make me sick, poor fellow, I wish people would realize there are always better days ahead and things pass eventually. Sad for his family.

October 01 2010 at 12:49 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
joboss

Its time that young adults learn that there is consequences to their actions . I see kids all the time acting up and the parent sets there and does nothing . I was in a resturant the other night and a young man around 10 - 12 years of age set there and screamed at his mother she was a lying Bi##h . If I would of done this to my mother one my Mom would of beat my a## and then my Dad would of done worse . These two young adults should be taken out and horse whipped in public . Maybe if we went back to some public hangings and public punishments , people would think about what they do to others.

October 01 2010 at 6:51 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
Getela

I am so sad for the parents of this young man, these two idiots pushed him to this, they had no feelings for him, they thought it was a big joke, they should go to jail for a long time so people would think twice before doing such a stupid thing; if you were a girl would you want a video of you changing a tampon for all to see; this generation sinks

October 01 2010 at 5:40 AM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
guanajibo64

Haven't anyone done something stupid in a college dorm? I'm sure the intention were not for this to happen, besides who is not to say that it was a payback prank? No one knows what really went on but them, also to commit suicide???? something was not right in this young mans head, not wort killing yourself over it.

October 01 2010 at 4:06 AM Report abuse -4 rate up rate down Reply
Ellen

This is an exceptionally confused and poorly organized editorial. First of all, I think that you are misunderstanding the comment about infantilizing young people. Yes, the world is tougher than ever, but "helicopter" parents are keeping their kids on tighter and tighter leashes as well. And spending an excessive amount of time online gives people (I don't care the age) a feeling of unreality about what they are doing there. I don't think anyone is arguing that these individuals be treated as anything but adults; they are just trying to explain why they are acting so childishly at the age of 18 (or older). I find that kids of this age (16-20s) are much closer and more attached to their parents, due to the omnipresence of texting, cell phones, e-mail, etc. They also seem less empathetic and more detached than ever before, i.e., narcissistic. If your kids are not this way, great. But there is obviously an increasing problem with bullying and cruelty. Why do they so easily dehumanize others and seem to lack empathy? That is the question here.

October 01 2010 at 3:36 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
asullivan4793

I think it's important to treat these suspects as adults because of the situation. Age doesn't affect a person's knowledge of crimes and morally wrong things to do. These suspects are the reason this young boy is now gone, and there is no way they should be let off easy. This case of Invasion of Privacy became so serious that it cannot be played off as a simple matter because of age. If a fifteen-year-old, for example, committed this crime, I would still agree that he or she should be tried as an adult. Age should not be an issue in certain serious cases such as this one.

October 01 2010 at 3:04 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
nodonjuan@yahoo.com

As a card carrying homosexual since middle school, I wish these kids would understand that it really does get better. I was lucky enough to grow up in a liberal beach town in California and had a older, bigger, meaner, brother who discouraged most attacks on me in elementary and middle school and by high school no one really ever bothered me. Being gay is NOT something you wake up and decide that you want to make your life ten times more difficult, you are born that way and there is no way to change.

October 01 2010 at 2:55 AM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
Sue

My privacy was invaded when unknown to me, a camcorder had been set up and was recording me in my apartment. The responsible parties were a 45 year male and a 58 year old male. To date, they have yet to be brought to justice. I don't know where the contents of those recordings have gone. My personal feeling is that these older individuals should given at least 3 years of incarceration. However, when it comes to 18 year-old's, I balk. Yes, they should be punished, but I think a home sentencing for 2-3 years may be sufficient. I also think that they should make a public apology. Nothing will bring the young man back -- and, I feel for him as I know what it is like to be tormented in this way. The universities also have an obligation and need to restrict any camcorders, recording equipment, etc. in the dorms. We need for someone to invent a inexpensive special device which can detect such equipment and everyone should have access to this new technology. Again, anyone involved in a setup that involves invasion of privacy should be prosecutable and brought to justice. However, I do hope that the age is considered but again, I can fully understand the horror of being the victim in this type of situation and we need to set a new precedent for establishing the safety of an individual's privacy and enforce it!!!

October 01 2010 at 2:55 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Sue

My privacy was invaded when unknown to me, a camcorder had been set up and was recording me in my apartment. The responsible parties were a 45 year male and a 58 year old male. To date, they have yet to be brought to justice. I don't know where the contents of those recordings have gone. My personal feeling is that these older individuals should given at least 3 years of incarceration. However, when it comes to 18 year-old's, I balk. Yes, they should be punished, but I think a home sentencing for 2-3 years may be sufficient. I also think that they should make a public apology. Nothing will bring the young man back -- and, I feel for him as I know what it is like to be tormented in this way. The universities also have an obligation and need to restrict any camcorders, recording equipment, etc. in the dorms. We need for someone to invent a inexpensive special device which can detect such equipment and everyone should have access to this new technology. Again, anyone involved in a setup that involves invasion of privacy should be prosecutable and brought to justice. However, I do hope that the age is considered but again, I can fully understand the horror of being the victim in this type of situation and we need to set a new precedent for establishing the safety of an individual's privacy and enforce it!!!

October 01 2010 at 2:53 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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