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Tyler Clementi's Death: A Call to Action Against Cyberbullying

1 year ago
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Sara Felsenstein
Sara Felsenstein
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What started as a smattering of Facebook status updates on my homepage soon erupted into an international news story. Tyler Clementi, a boy from my high school in Ridgewood, N.J. and a freshman at Rutgers University, committed suicide on Sept. 22. after a video of him having a private encounter with another man was streamed on the Internet.
Tyler was two years behind me at Ridgewood High, and although I did not know him, the tragedy has deeply affected me, as it has millions of others. It pains me that the perpetrators, believed to be Tyler's roommate and a friend, could be so cruel and reckless, and it pains me that Tyler was not able to see any future beyond such humiliation. While I am glad it is getting worldwide coverage, Tyler's death needs to be more than something for people to talk about. Tyler's story reminds us of the urgent need to prevent online harassment and abuse of social-networking sites.

The question is how to accomplish that.

We know that social-networking sites are not just about building friendships -- they are also used to spread gossip and negative remarks, and young people who socialize in the public sphere are especially vulnerable. While the "meet me at the flagpole" bully still exists, social-networking sites now provide a space for a more potent form of bullying that is easier to commit, and more destructive.
At the University of Notre Dame campus in South Bend, Ind., students were shaken and angered as they discussed Tyler's death. Katherine Madden, a junior economics and French major, said the Internet affords anonymity to bullies -- but not their victims. "They don't get that luxury of not having their name attached to a rumor."

Online abuse can also occur unintentionally, said Jackie Emmanuel, president of the Progressive Student Alliance. "Some people, teenagers in particular, believe [the Internet] permits them to say things far more inflammatory and hurtful than they would say in person," Emmanuel said. "Text can also be misconstrued easily -- a 'joke' on Facebook . . . can be perceived as a direct attack, because in text we lack the unspoken body language and intonation of voice of whomever we are speaking to."

Clearly, what makes cyberbullying so dangerous is that technology allows us to act on impulse, before conscience has time to check our baser instincts. We are able to detach ourselves from our actions, starting a chain of offenses but then quickly denying responsibility for them.

Some educators would like to see social networking disappear.

Last April, Anthony Orsini, principal of Ridgewood's Benjamin Franklin Middle School, sent an e-mail to parents that said in part: "It is time for every single member of the B.F. community to take a stand! There is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site!" As Orsini well knows, middle-school students are notorious for forming cliques -- excluding kids who don't fit in -- and failing to understand the extent of the damage they can do.

Others say education is a better antidote to cyberbullying. "I think we should teach kids that the world online affects the world outside of their computer," said Notre Dame student Brandon Buchanan. "We need to teach them to be able to turn off those sorts of conversations before they become abusive."

For Alyssa Sappenfield, a junior sociology and psychology major, the recent tragedy speaks to a larger issue of invasion of privacy. "I think that the gay rights issue, while it is an extremely important issue, is not the main problem in this situation," she said. "The real violation here is [that of] privacy."
Before the Age of the Internet, the media determined what information the public received. Now, anyone can publish anything, and privacy invasion has become endemic.
As an aspiring journalist, I have often wondered how my decisions as a reporter will play out in the real world. My minor at Notre Dame is "Journalism, Ethics, and Democracy," and integrated into my classes are ethical discussions about how reporters should act under given circumstances. Notre Dame makes an effort to educate its journalists to be not only good reporters, but also moral reporters. Despite this education, I still worry that I could make mistakes that will haunt me. What if I accidentally expose information about someone in a way that dramatically affects that person's life? What if I print misinformation about someone that, once posted on a Web site, spreads virally on the Internet and can never be completely wiped out? I now realize that these questions do not just apply to my position as a journalist, but also to my position as a young person socializing on the Web. When interacting on the Internet, we must always take into account those ethical issues, even if we think what we say on Facebook is "casual" and "doesn't really mean anything."
But as Tyler's death proves, the dangers the Internet poses to our relationships and identities are gravely underestimated. In just the last month, at least six young men have committed suicide in the United States as a result of abuse based on sexual orientation -- and two of those suicides were integrally related to online abuse. Similar instances of bullying occur constantly. Oftentimes, these bullies go unpunished either because they have acted anonymously, the severity of the situation is not recognized by those in authority, or the victims are too humiliated to speak out.
Tyler Clementi's parents said in a statement, "Regardless of legal outcomes, our hope is that our family's personal tragedy will serve as a call for compassion, empathy and human dignity." This call for compassion is imperative at middle schools, high schools, and college campuses, where students are still developing their identities and any blow to their reputations can seem absolutely overwhelming.
The recent suicides must be our call to action. Before we broadcast an opinion via tweet or Facebook status update, we must consider how our words might be understood out of context. We must work to teach children how to use the Internet ethically, reminding them of the consequences of words or pictures they post. We must make a concentrated effort to be tolerant, and remember that what we publish cannot be takent back, especially on the Internet where the line between public and private is blurred.
Filed Under: Woman Up, Culture, Gay Rights
Tagged: Cyberbullying, Notre Dame, Privacy invasion, social networking, suicide
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4 Comments

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dlaws55

Good article. Several thoughts come to mind: 1) The author mentions, and then ignores the most important issue with these deaths - "...Tyler was not able to see any future beyond such humiliation". This is the real issue. Many people have been bullied but not ended their lives, but all of those who 'see no future beyond such humiliation' take their lives. What can we do to address this part of the equation? 2) "the urgent need to prevent online harassment" - this simply can't be done; end of story. But how can we minimize the impact on the subjects? 3) the problem with bullying is the bullies. Their parents/guardians - whoever raises such people - should be teaching them to respect and be kind others. Simplistic statement, yes, but you get the point. The bullies don't know right from wrong or don't care. That's where we need to start...

October 08 2010 at 9:49 PM Report abuse -3 rate up rate down Reply
de

All this breast beating and gnashing of teeth in trying to figure out the REAL lessons of the Tyler Clementi situation.....whatever happened to teaching kids to be honorable,strong and how to defend themselves from attack whether hands-on or verbal??? Maybe some of the MANY lousy parents should be TEACHING their kids about the real world instead of trying to be their "best buddy".... Poor parenting has many negative results and raising a weak kid who can't deal w/adversity is just one of them.

October 08 2010 at 9:03 PM Report abuse -3 rate up rate down Reply
ernestvalerius

Where's the "Fonz"? You know who I'm talking about; the leader who is cool enough and powerful enough and cares enough to put an end to this crap. The guy that bullies the bullies and stands up for the down-trodden. If it's you, stand up! If you can't do it alone, do it together! You don't need teachers. You don't need parents. You don't need the police. And you don't have to put up with bullying!

October 08 2010 at 6:13 PM Report abuse +5 rate up rate down Reply
annelee

After 23 years in juvenile court, I believe that teenagers often learn from the experiences of their peers, not just from being lectured by those in authority. Consequently, “Teen Cyberbullying Investigated” was published in January, 2010. Endorsed by Dr. Phil on April 8, 2010 ["Bullied to Death" show], “Teen Cyberbullying Investigated” presents real cases of teens in trouble over their online and cell phone activities. Civil & criminal sanctions have been imposed on teens over their emails, blogs, text and IM messages, Facebook entries and more. TCI is interactive and promotes education & awareness so that our youth will begin to “Think B4 U Click.” Thanks for looking at “Teen Cyberbullying Investigated” on http://www.freespirit.com [publisher] or on http://www.askthejudge.info [a free website for & about teens and the law]. Regards, -Judge Tom

October 08 2010 at 4:46 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply

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