Fear of Parenting Won't Make the Job Any Easier

I feel like there is some confusion between "attachment parenting" and overindulging children/helicopter parenting. They are not one in the same. Ms. Goldstein's commentary, and Erica Jong's original piece, make some good points about catering to children in a way that, I believe, is not doing them, nor their parents, any good. Ensuring a child's existence is emotionally and physically pain free, and solving all of their problems or not even letting problems exist for them in the first place, is not teaching them to be strong individuals. My son is 3.5. He still nurses once or twice a day. He still sleeps in our bed. Once in a while I still wear him in a child carrier. To me, attachment parenting is about being connected and in tune with my child, and respecting him as a person. It's about encouraging independence, but not forcing him to become independent when he's not ready, which can certainly be a difficult balance to find. I expect my son to be learning every day that there are consequences to his choices, decisions, and actions, and respectfully trying to help him learn how to deal with those consequences in a responsible, mature way. I expect him to solve his own problems, and at this age I am here to help him but I expect him to be involved in the process. I expect him to be kind and respectful to himself and to others, and I feel like that is currently my job to teach him. Respecting, supporting, teaching and encouraging, giving space to make mistakes, and being there to comfort him through the consequences of those mistakes. That is what I believe attachment parenting is. Not driving around all day to find the perfect party treat bag item. Not hovering on the playground to make sure he never gets a bump or bruise. Not giving up my entire life so I can make sure his is perfect. That is also a difficult balance to find, but no one ever said parenting was easy.

What ever happened to a sleepover with movies? The only time I have ever spent more than $100 dollars on a birthday party for my daughters was their Sweet 16. Otherwise they could invite a bunch of friends to sleep over watch movies and have chips and popcorn.

Perhaps those women who are fearful of parenting shouldn't be a parent. Even though times have changed, people change, but the basics of who is the parent hasn't changed. You, the parent, still should have your wits about you in order to maintain authority over your children and how they grow up to be strong adults. It's not easy, but, like everything worthwhile in life, is not easy. So, don't have children until you are ready.