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Mark Twain, Tom Friedman, and Quotations Too Good to Be Correctly Attributed

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One of the hazards of fact-checking others -- or dressing down politicians who peddle preposterously bogus material -- is spreading your own misinformation while doing so. This was the booby trap Thomas L. Friedman and the New York Times set for themselves Tuesday in a column headlined, unfortunately, "Too Good to Check."

I yield to no one in my admiration for Friedman, with whom I covered the White House in the Clinton years and later interviewed. As far as I know, I'm the only one who ever put forward Tom's name for consideration of the Nobel Peace Prize -- my thought being that he hardly needed another Pulitzer. And in "Too Good to Check," Friedman appropriately lauds CNN's Anderson Cooper for taking the air out of the latest Internet-propelled hysteria.

mark Twain, Thomas L. FriedmanThe fantasy in question was passed along -- on Cooper's television show, no less -- by Michele Bachmann, Minnesota congresswoman and darling of the tea party set. President Obama's trip to Asia, Mrs. Bachmann asserted confidently, cost U.S. taxpayers $200 million a day. Anderson Cooper deserves a tip of the cap for debunking this goofy estimate, as does Tom Friedman for giving credit where it is due.

I just wish he hadn't mentioned Mark Twain.

"It underscored how far ahead of his time Mark Twain was when he said a century before the Internet, 'A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.' " That's what Friedman wrote, but you can probably guess where I'm heading with this: That is not Mark Twain talking, and that's not the right quote anyway.

While we're at it, Abraham Lincoln did not say -- as Barack Obama claimed in 2008 -- "If you stop telling lies about me, I'll start telling truth about you." Nor did Alexis de Tocqueville ever assert, as Bill Clinton often said: "America is great because America is good." Edmund Burke said many interesting things, but not, as John F. Kennedy reported: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." And Harry Truman certainly wouldn't have libeled the nation's capital, despite frequent citations by those who ought to know better, by proclaiming: "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."

So U.S. presidents pass along counterfeit quotes, and inaccurate quotes are often attributed to presidents, as well. Sometimes laziness is to blame. Frequently, the culprit is ideological blinders, as people employ all this fake Lincoln, false Twain, imagined Tocqueville, made-up Burke, and fictional Truman for perceived partisan advantage. Often, however, the purloined quotes don't sound remotely like the famous personage in question.

Lincoln is so often misquoted that there's a two-volume set, "Recollected Works of Abraham Lincoln," by historians Don and Virginia Fehrenbacher, that debunks hundreds upon hundreds of faked, dubious, or sketchy quotations attributed to the Great Emancipator. Lincoln, most especially, is always being blamed for saying things he would never have even thought. Whether he is predicting the end of capitalism or ruminating about fooling the people some of the time (but not all of the time), writers and politicians who wouldn't know a Lincoln quote from a log-splitter are forever trying to posthumously enlist Honest Abe in their pet causes.

It was another Illinois politician, Adlai Stevenson, who quipped in 1956 that if his "Republican friends" would "stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them." William Randolph Hearst trotted out a similar line 50 years earlier while unsuccessfully campaigning for governor of New York. Hearst apparently borrowed it from another New Yorker, Republican Sen. Chauncey Depew, who used the same line, but with the parties reversed from Stevenson.

The romantic notion that America is great because she is good is definitely not Tocqueville -- and is too pithy to sound much like the famous Frenchman -- but it's not originally Bill Clinton, either. Dwight Eisenhower was duped by this fake quote, as was Ronald Reagan. In time, the forgery was exposed by John J. Pitney, a political scientist at Claremont McKenna College, who traced it to an obscure 1941 tome about religion and the American Dream. Even then, Clinton was so enamored of the sentiment, he kept using it anyway.

This is a trend as well: Once a catchy quote is misused by a president, it's hard to kill it, as John F. Kennedy underscored numerous times. Kennedy and his speechwriters were notoriously unreliable with quotations, most notably in a 1961 speech to the Canadian Parliament in Ottawa, in which he quoted British statesman Burke's supposed "good men to do nothing" line.
Those words have subsequently been used by politicians ranging from President Gerald Ford to Florida Gov. Charlie Crist. They have inspired the launching of a private school in Washington, D.C., a charity in Tanzania, a million school essays, and were even voted by the editors of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations as the most popular quote of modern times. But Burke never said it.

Even more omnipresent is that casual slander of the capital of the free world attributed to Truman about friendship and dogs in Washington. This dumb quote just will not die. Let's start with the obvious: The Truman Library, after years of searching in vain, has concluded that Truman never said this before, during, or after he served in the White House. And why would he? Truman made good friends in Washington, and like many men of his generation who grew up on farms, saw dogs primarily as working animals.

So where did this aspersion come from? Not to overly antagonize my friends at the New York Times, but that paper played a role in propagating this canard, too. The thought seems to have originated in a play, "Give 'Em Hell, Harry," that opened on Broadway in 1975. Written by Samuel G. Gallu (James Whitmore played Truman), the play contains the line, spoken by the fictional Truman: "You want a friend in life, get a dog!"

It's apparently an old line, not specific to a particular city (although at least once, attributed to Hollywood), but by the late 1970s, it starts cropping up as though the real Harry Truman said it. The first known instance of it being applied to Washington comes in 1987, via Nancy Kassebaum, a Republican senator from Kansas, in a piece in -- yes, The New York Times -- in which she is asked to give advice to incoming Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan. Kassebaum said: "I'll close with some words from Harry Truman: 'If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.' "

A couple of years later, NYT columnist Maureen Dowd used the line -- and it was cemented in the lexicon forever. I don't suppose it was meant to be taken too literally, this quote about Truman and dogs and Washington, least of all by Nancy Kassebaum or Maureen Dowd. Kassebaum is a lovely and loyal person, who certainly has friends in Washington, which was where she met her second husband, Howard Baker Jr. As for Dowd, her friends are legion in Washington, which is her hometown.

To bring things back around, I first came across the-lie-traveling-around-the-world quote when, like Tom Friedman, I was writing about how the Internet had facilitated the proliferation of falsehoods, inventions, and mangled or misattributed quotations. The "lie" quote -- usually truth is trying to put on its boots, not shoes -- sounded to my ear only superficially like Twain. It was too preachy, not clever enough, and insufficiently ironic, a point underscored for me more than a decade ago when I heard first lady Hillary Clinton use the line, and then ad-lib a postscript: "Today, the lie can be twice around the world before the truth gets out of bed to find its boots."

People don't usually try to improve on Mark Twain, and that day Mrs. Clinton called it an "old saying." That aroused suspicions, and I learned that the first lady had previously attributed the line to Twain, as had Al Gore, Paul Begala, Haley Barbour, and many other politicians. The quote is ubiquitous. On search-engine queries you can find it credited to an array of people, including American satirist Will Rogers and two former British prime ministers, James Callaghan and Winston Churchill.

Callaghan, I eventually discovered, actually did use the lie-around-the-world quote in a Nov. 1, 1976 speech to the House of Commons. That was not the end of the hunt, however. Callaghan attributed the line to another man, a prominent Baptist pastor named Charles Haddon Spurgeon, a contemporary of Twain's. According to Benham's "Book of Quotations," Spurgeon's quip was itself delivered in 1855: "A lie travels 'round the world, while Truth is putting on her boots."

Apparently, the quote was not new even then, for the Rev. Spurgeon prefaced his observation with the caveat that it was an "old proverb." Here's a new one: At the end of the day, Washington is good because it has great men and women, who, wanting to fool each other only some of the time instead of doing nothing, put their clichés on one leg at a time -- lest their friendless dog chew their boots.

Postscript: On Thursday at the Republican Governors Association conference in San Diego, my Politics Daily colleague Melinda Henneberger tells me that Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal joked to the crowd, "We used to pay farmers not to grow crops; maybe we can pay lawmakers to stay home." Then, when the line got only a medium laugh, he added, "That's not original; Mark Twain said, 'Our laws are safest when they're at home.' "

Jindal was half-right: It's certainly not original. Nor is it Twain. What the governor seems to have in mind is an expression used by Gideon J. Tucker, a former New York newspaperman-turned-politician. In 1866, While serving as a Surrogate and ruling in an inheritance case, Judge Tucker explained an estate lawyer's failure to notice changes in the law with this pithy observation: "Perhaps he had forgotten the saying that 'no man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the Legislature is in session.' "

But if Jindal and the half-dozen Republican governors contemplating running for president in 2012 want to consider Mark Twain's advice, how about this rumination on the sagacity of sending a career politician to the White House: "History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians," Twain said in the Aug. 26, 1876, pages of the New York Herald. "Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise."

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23 Comments

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Buddy Maxwell

One of my favorite lines, attributed tothe late publisher, Marshall McCluhan, originator of all those yellow-rag expose magazines seen at check-out counters everywhere, is: "If a lie is told loud enough and long enough, it will ultimately become a truth!

Reading all this junk is reminiscent to another line, perhaps credited to comedian, Red Skelton: "If you think these eyes look bad, you should see them from THIS side!"

January 06 2011 at 6:54 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Buddy Maxwell

One of my favorite lines, attributed tothe late publisher, Marshall McCluhan, originator of all those yellow-rag expose magazines seen at check-out counters everywhere, is: "If a lie is told loud enough and long enough, it will ultimately become a truth!

Reading all this junk is reminiscent to another line, perhaps credited to comedian, Red Skelton: "If you think these eyes look bad, you should see them from THIS side!"

January 06 2011 at 6:54 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
fredhellm

if we change mark twain does that mean we are doing tocensor the book
that dick gregory cxame out with using the N word as the title or the late richard pryor's coemdy album that N is crazy

January 06 2011 at 4:33 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Terry/Paulette

How sad that we've become so politically correct that Mark Twain could be subjected to censorship. Yes, he used language that isn't acceptable today, even offensive, but--to quote historian Barbara Tuckman (I think)--those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it. One of Hitler's more reprehensible activities was censorship and burning books unacceptable to the Third Reich. We must not copy his unbelievably horrid way of thinking by beginning our own form of censorship. If we allow it once, where will it stop? Or will it? Who's next?

January 06 2011 at 2:58 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Lopez Family

why cant all these so called self rightous people leave the classics alone Mark twain was calling it as it was in his time. I know it isnt appropriate to use the word but trying to take a word out of a classical piece is insulting next thing you know these so called do gooders will want to edit the bibal. just do us a favor go crawl back under the slime in the pond they came out of

January 06 2011 at 1:45 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
lizredpixie

Mark Twain wrote history as it WAS, not as we would like it to have been. Shouldn't all people, especially children, know how far we have come.......and how far we have yet to go? I don't see anyone re-writing the Bible...............and it is certainly not politically correct.

January 06 2011 at 12:43 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to lizredpixie's comment
parmx3

Really? The Bible along with all other ancient and modern religous texts have been rewritten/interpreted/misinterpreted/tranlated hundreds of times. Why should literature be any different. Even the US constitution has many outdated phrases that no longer apply. Why should american literature be any different?

Just leave crap alone. Can't this be grandfathered in as "free speech". If an author wrote a book tomorrow and got it published, and anyone tried to change the terminology or wording, the people would be up in arms.

FREE SPEECH...applied just as much 100 years ago as it does today.

January 06 2011 at 5:13 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Dave

C'mon, leave Mark Twain alone. That's history, don't try to re-write it. Don['t try to cover up the past. What happened to Little Blak Sambo? and some of the others, these books and stories are part of American history.

January 05 2011 at 10:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Cherryle

to change a story in a book that was written long ago is like trying to take GOD of the reason we came to the USA - - the "N" word used in the book was as it was at the time - pleople still use it in an abusive way - to hurt - but the books was not so - times have changed but people have not they STILL HATE - - - if not Black, its Yellow or Red - even White - no matter how you look at it we are all the same in ways - if one can not accept one's self and others as they are then maybe join the Twilight Gang - Veronica's crew - good luck but keep Mark Twain Alive

January 05 2011 at 9:46 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
Buddy Clemmons

I certainly don't think Tom Friedman deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. He did advocate the invasion of Iraq and for the projection of American power around the world. These facts alone disqualify him from receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.

January 05 2011 at 9:06 PM Report abuse -2 rate up rate down Reply
Changling

My only problem with this piece is not its valitity but rather its sources. This writer speaks like Moses delivering the big Ten while decrying the accuracy of others sources. When voters could not tell if Palin said it or Tina Fey said it tells the story quite well. And who said it has to be in writing before a person can be attributed with a quote anyway? We have had word of mouth a lot longer.

November 19 2010 at 1:29 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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