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sandra tsing loh
Settling for Good Enough: The Atlantic's Reluctant Feminism Won Me Over
By Lizzie Skurnick - Politics DailyIn 2008, while Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama battled for the Democratic nomination, I became a little well, impatient with the the The Atlantic. It wasn't their low-key Hillary bashing (though they did lob a few potshots while waxing rhapsodic on our current prez). It was the magazine's March 2008 issue, which featured Lori Gottlieb's essay (later expanded into a book) entitled "Marry Him," which urged desperate single women to give up their hopes for a perfect partner and "settle" for "Mr.-Not-Quite-Right." Until then, I -- like many readers -- had turned to the Atlantic for weighty ...
Al and Tipper Gore's Split: Why I'm Not Sad
By Delia Lloyd - Politics DailyI think it's best if I just come out and say this up front: I'm not really sad that Al and Tipper Gore split up. Yes, I know. I'm an outlier. Nearly everyone I know -- and certainly everyone I'm reading -- is outright depressed by this separation. Don't get me wrong. I think it's a shame. And it's a shame because -- as my colleague Melinda Henneberger wrote on these pages recently -- they seemed like a couple who were genuinely in love. Between the 40 years of marriage and the four beautiful kids and the whole high school sweetheart thing and, yes -- the kisses -- they really looked like ...
More Wives Should Dump Their Husbands
By Delia Lloyd - Politics DailyI've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. Or, more precisely: unhappy marriages. And I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't time for more women to -- as we say in politics -- "throw the bums out." I got to thinking about this after my colleague, Melinda Henneberger, wrote a post last weekend about one of those marriages about which we know just a bit too much: Silda and Elliot Spitzer's. You may recall Spitzer as the former governor of New York who stepped down when it was revealed that he'd been patronizing a prostitution service. And you will certainly recall his wife, Silda, who stood ...
Last Night's Dinner, or Why I Need a Wife
By Delia Lloyd - Politics DailyYou know when you read something and it really doesn't resonate right at the moment? But then -- I don't know -- an hour later . . . maybe a day . . . maybe even a week later, you think: "Ah, yes! Precisely!" ...
Bad Mothers? What Are We Talking About?
By Michelle Brafman - Politics DailyI read Sandra Tsing Loh's Atlantic article "On Being a Bad Mother" because, well, all of my WomanUp colleagues were doing it. Although I appreciate Loh's facility with language, humor and shimmering intelligence, her article and the response to it reinforced my concerns about the bad-mom conversation. ...
Motherhood Does What It Can
By Lynn Joyce Hunter - Politics DailyThanks, Lizzie, for a realistic assessment of the standard mothers are held to. One thing I'm increasingly aware of is how being a "good enough" mother, as conceptualized by D.W. Winnicott 50-plus years ago, is the way to work oneself out of the job of mothering. Tsing-Loh quotes writer Therese Borchard on the subject of Winnicott, whose "good-enough" approach to mothering Borchard describes as follows: He [Winnicott] didn't talk about starting a three-year-old with Suzuki violin lessons, ensuring that my eight-year-old never ever has to wear a dirty soccer uniform to a game, or buying your ...
Good Parent or Smother Mother? It's a Fine Line
By Ria Misra - Politics DailySandra Tsing Loh's article on motherhood in this month's Atlantic has kicked off quite a discussion among my colleagues, Melinda, Lynn, Delia and Lizzie, about what makes a good parent. But, if we could set aside questions of parental quality for just a moment, I want to talk about something a little easier to measure: quantity -- namely, too much parenting. Loh references Ayelet Waldman's book on motherhood, "Bad Mother," early on, mostly to complain that Waldman, as a mother, is too good, with far too model a family to deserve the moniker. But it was a quote from the book written by the ...
I'm Team Tsing Loh: Whither Germaine Greer, Indeed?
By Lizzie Skurnick - Politics DailyMelinda, Lynn – I was frankly surprised to hear the n-word (narcissist) used to describe Sandra Tsing Loh, an essayist whose works on parenting culture I have adored for years. Like Delia, I'd like to put forth that often, her tongue is practically poking through her cheek. (She's not suggesting everyone leave their husbands any more than that everyone eat their babies -- although I bet they'd be delicious.) But I think it's telling that one apparently has to evoke the travails of the homeless and mothers who deal drugs to make Tsing Loh's issues, by comparison, seem unworthy -- because ...
The Search for Perfection: Where Did Feminism Go Wrong?
By Delia Lloyd - Politics DailyWell, ladies, I must say I've been having a jolly old time here in London reading your takes on the Loh and Weil articles. On a day when my combined maternal/spousal duties left me thoroughly winded and already jonesing for that third espresso before 9 a.m., I take comfort in the fact that: a. Unlike Weil, I actually like French kissing and b. Unlike Loh, I'm not trying to raise my children in a car. ...
From Sandra Tsing Loh's Volvo to Bumming Cigarettes From Mom
By Lynn Joyce Hunter - Politics DailyI agree with Melinda, who points out that a whole lot of people out in the big bad world have tough lives, yet few have concluded that the norms of civilization should be rewritten to the tune of their personal suffering. There is plenty wrong with American marriage and family life, to be sure, and much that can and should be thoughtfully critiqued. But "bad mommy" writer Sandra Tsing Loh goes way too quickly to extremes to exonerate herself: Sure, maybe she's done with marriage, maybe marriage won't ever work for her, maybe she lives daily with the guilt of being a bad mom. But is it even an ...
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