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Congress To Ban Interstate Monkey Trade
By Dylan and Ethan Ris - Politics DailyCongress waited until it was too late before taking on global terrorism, the sub-prime housing bubble and global warming, but this time they're on offense against the next imminent crisis on the horizon:Monkey attacks!Following the alarming (and decidedly unfunny) mauling of a Connecticut woman by an agitated chimpanzee, Congress has seen renewed interest in a pre-existing bill to shut down the interstate monkey trade. The bill's sponsors say it's not a moment too soon...Backers of a bill to ban interstate monkey sales, debated on the House floor on Monday, thought they had found their moment. ...
Peanut CEO Gives Worst Congressional Testimony Since Mark McGwire
By Dylan and Ethan Ris - Politics DailyCongress has heard its share of pathetic testimonies over the years. Recent lowlights included pubic hairs in Clarence Thomas's Coke, Sammy Sosa forgetting how to speak English, and Mark McGwire acting like the biggest dweeb to ever hit 70 home runs in a season.And then there was Terri Schiavo, who despite being subpoenaed to testify before the Senate, had the nerve to not even show up!Well this crowd has some competition for the worst testimony in the history of Congress. That's because yesterday Stewart Parnell, CEO of the Peanut Corporation of America came before the House Committee on ...
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