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Published: 03/22/11

'Zombies Ahead,' Warns Electronic Road Sign in SC

By  Steven Hoffer - AOL News
'Zombies Ahead,' Warns Electronic Road Sign in SC

For anyone who doesn't recall the driver's ed section on avoiding undead life forms, you might want to steer clear of South Carolina for a few days. "Zombies Ahead," "Watch for Hunters" and "Be Alert for Tanks" are the three warnings that drivers on Lancaster County's S.C. 160 recently encountered from two seemingly tampered with electronic road signs, the Rock Hill Herald reports. The pair of highway signs, contracted through construction company CR Jackson, were intended to alert drivers of upcoming night road paving scheduled to begin March 27. YouTube South Carolina drivers ...

Published: 02/14/11

Zombie Valentine's Day: Til Undeath Do Us Part

By  Tony Deconinck - AOL News
Zombie Valentine's Day: Til Undeath Do Us Part

With Valentine's Day upon us, everybody is in full forced-romantic mode. Right now, people are frantically planning dinners, buying flowers and thinking about chocolates or other gifts, but nobody is asking the important question here: What about the zombies? Rob Sacchetto Zombie Portraits creator Rob Sacchetto has released zombie-themed greeting cards for Valentine's Day, Christmas and birthdays. Of course, there's also a "get well soon" card. It's a cold, cruel world for zombies: a violent death, an unwanted reanimation, a constant aching hunger while their ...

Published: 12/31/10

Our Year of Zombie Politics

By  James Grady - Politics Daily
Our Year of Zombie Politics

Wait: Even in politics, 2010 was the year of zombies? Sure, the hot new wonky tome "Zombie Economics" tells how "dead" economic theories walk among us to shape our paychecks, and sure, zombies lumber out of our TVs almost no matter what channel we click to, and sure, my fellow fantasy prose-slingers are flinging new novels about the undead at the dust of Stephen King and George Romero, but zombies as a metaphor for 2010's politics? Come on! What happened to vampires? Vampires are a great political metaphor! Bloodsuckers. Say no more. But zombies? Who are they in America's 2010 ...

Published: 12/16/10

US Worker Held in Haiti Jail Says He's Being Extorted

By  Emily Troutman - AOL News
US Worker Held in Haiti Jail Says He's Being Extorted

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (Dec. 16) -- Paul Waggoner, an American aid worker in Haiti, says he was the wrong man to arrest on a kidnapping charge, not only because he's innocent, but also because "I'm completely broke. They should've done a credit check." Waggoner has been in jail for four nights here and is convinced that the entire ordeal is an attempt to extort money from him. In February, while volunteering at Haitian Community Hospital, Waggoner was witness to the death of a baby, Keevens. The father of the baby refused to believe he died and refused to take the body home. Since then, by ...

Published: 08/27/10

How a Group of Zombies Defended the Right to Free Speech

By  Tony Deconinck - AOL News
How a Group of Zombies Defended the Right to Free Speech

(Aug. 26) -- The Eighth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has upheld the rights of free speech and peaceable assembly -- all it took was seven zombies and a simulated weapon of mass destruction. Last week, the City of Minneapolis agreed to pay $165,000 to the so-called Zombie Seven, settling a case that over four years came to address far more than zombie make-up. In 2006, seven friends got together in downtown Minneapolis as the city celebrated a weeklong Aquatennial. They were dressed like zombies and carried a few duffel bags filled with speakers and a microphone in what was supposed to be a ...

Published: 08/11/10

Rob Sacchetto: The Man Who Can Kill You With a Brush

By  Tony Deconinck - AOL News
Rob Sacchetto: The Man Who Can Kill You With a Brush

(Aug. 11) -- He's killed nearly a thousand now, by his count. All he needs is a photograph of the victim and then his mind begins turning and twisting the image, creating horror from the mundane. Rob Sacchetto examines each new picture and sees past the happy smile and the straight, white teeth. He stares at each one until he sees only death, and decay, and the hopeless despair of the soon-to-be dead. Or rather, undead. ...

Published: 07/13/10

Netherlands Wins World Cup -- Wait, What?

By  Joe Peacock - AOL News
Netherlands Wins World Cup -- Wait, What?

(July 13) -- Sometimes, news organizations screw up. And boy, is it ever wonderful to catch them. Most organizations will pre-write articles about major events -- presidential elections, obituaries for famous people who are near death's door and, of course, the outcome of major sporting events, like the World Cup's championship game. Unless you've been under a rock the past few days, you know that Spain beat Netherlands 1-0 in overtime to win the coveted trophy. Of course, every news organization had articles for either team's possible victory. Too bad for CBS News that somebody over there ...

Published: 06/15/10

Newsweek Reveals Secret Zombie Apocalypse

By  Tony Deconinck - AOL News
Newsweek Reveals Secret Zombie Apocalypse

(June 15) -- The zombies invaded over the weekend, and you didn't even know it. While most of us were content in our weekend routines of watching sports, cooking or tending to our yards, Newsweek took the next step. They prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Newsweek.com Hidden in the Newsweek.com website is this zombie parody. By going to the Newsweek website, visitors could enter the old-school Konami Code gaming cheat code once popular on Nintendo game systems (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, enter) and watch the main page of Newsweek switch from a story about mining ...

Published: 01/26/07

Joe Paterno's Donuts Taste Like Brains

By  Brian Cook - AOL News
Joe Paterno's Donuts Taste Like Brains

We at the Fanhouse think that anyone making fun of Joe Paterno's incredible oldness and making jokes about how he sucks the life from his quarterbacks to extend his centuries-old reign over the Penn State football program is an insensitive hack. We also have come to grips with the fact that we are insensitive hacks. So! Joe Paterno, thanks to the machinations of former player Franco Harris, now has a line of Super Donuts and Super Buns and we await the (surely inevitable) rollout of flavors like: Innocent Puppy Soul Brains! Brains! Brains! Chocolate. ESPN titles the AP story "JoePa's ...

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